


Going, Going, Gone (Too Far)

by Fromageinterrupted



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Crack Fic, Crack that became fluff, F/M, Fake Dating, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Lance shows his love way better than saying it, Pidge is dense here. Really dense, Post-Canon, fake engagement, flirtyrobot, fluffy fluff fluff, of a sort, pance, pidgance, plance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-25
Updated: 2019-06-25
Packaged: 2020-05-19 17:11:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19361173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fromageinterrupted/pseuds/Fromageinterrupted
Summary: A prank Lance pulls on Pidge causes everyone in the universe to think they're now a couple. Now they have to pretend they are in a relationship for diplomatic reasons. How far will their fake relationship go? Neither one seems to intent on breaking it off.





	Going, Going, Gone (Too Far)

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a drabble, inspired by several things I've seen Plance shippers post on tumblr and in discord. If you see your idea, tag yourself or let me know. Cause you get the credit for the inspiration. 
> 
> This is a crack fic for what it's worth. Because, let's hope Pidge is never this dense actually.

It was a beautiful evening, the stars seemed brighter than ever shining overhead. The ocean was more gentle than Pidge had ever heard it before, the soft swaying of the waves casting a spell over the event. The walkway was lit up with softly glowing lanterns and there were fairy lights everywhere. She looked up the walkway at the expectant faces lined up, waiting for her to make her way forward to join them. Her dress skimmed her body and landed at her calves, she had been so scared of tripping for some reason. All in all, it seemed absolutely perfect. Except for one thing.

 

 Pidge had never imagined her wedding would take place outside, under the stars. In fact, she had never imagined her wedding at all.

 

That was a lie, if she was going to be honest with herself. She had had dreams of marrying a merman when she was a child, or being on some sort of exploration team and getting married to one of her team members via some alien ceremony and coming home and surprising everyone. But a traditional wedding, on Earth, to one of her Voltron buddies? That was never in the plans.

 

Until Lance and his stupid, big mouth.

 

It wasn’t supposed to go this far. They weren’t even dating each other. Not really. Not in a “we’ve confessed to each other that we have undying love and affection and want to be together forever in more than a best friends” way. Being semi-famous across the universe had definitely caused some issues Pidge had not foreseen.

 

A year ago, the six of them had been sent by Coran to a planet that had built a refugee hospital in honor of Allura, who had suddenly appeared amidst the rest of them about two years ago in the middle of Allura’s day. “Surprise! I found a way home.” were the first words out of her mouth. “What the quiznack!” Were the first words out of Pidge’s mouth. 

 

News of her return spread like wildfire and soon every planet that knew about the sacrifice had dedicated this building or that shrine to Allura and they always wanted all of Voltron to attend. The former Paladins always donned their uniforms and showed up with bells on. 

 

Pidge had been worried for a minute, that Lance was going to slip back into what everyone called his “boyfriend Lance personality”. But that didn’t happen. Mostly because Allura promptly broke up with him upon her return, albeit privately. To this day, Pidge didn’t know what she said to Lance, only that he came back from their meeting with a smile on his face and two distinct glowing marks missing from his cheeks.

 

After that, it was like old Lance had returned. He wanted to hang again, and do fun things, and went back to training to be a pilot. And Pidge, Lance and Hunk found themselves hanging out all together all over the known universe having the time of their lives. Most people across the universe had taken to fondly calling them the Garrison Trio, though Shiro and Keith were from the Garrison as well. It had become the best of times for her.

 

But then, as suddenly as “Old Lance” returned to them upon the breakup, he also started up his weird flirty ways again, batting his eyes and making kissy faces at every possible female they came across. Hunk laughed it off. Pidge not so much. 

 

Once, when Pidge was complaining to Hunk about how it put a damper on their otherwise great times, Hunk asked her why it bothered her so much, that maybe she should be happy Lance was back to his old self. Pidge got mad at him and told him it didn’t bother her, but Hunk just shrugged and said “Suit yourself. I thought you would have figured it out way back when, but whatever.” as he shoved a handful of popcorn in his face. Then he offered her the worst advice she ever took. “Why don’t you flirt with all the boys and see if he catches on about how annoying it is?”

 

It seemed like a great idea at the time. Give him a little taste of his own medicine. But all it actually seemed to do was put Lance in a bad mood. Though, to be fair, his flirting with other girls drastically lowered after that, mainly because he was constantly hanging around Pidge to “protect her” and junk like that. Which Pidge had promptly scolded him about, to which Lance had apologized and instead asked to hang around her because he ‘just really enjoyed it’.

 

And then the party to honor Allura and dedicate the hospital.. 

 

It turned out to be an absolutely awesome event. Great music, happy people, and some of the greatest scientific minds around. One such mind belonged to a guy around Pidge’s age who came from a planet she hadn’t visited yet. He was smart, witty, and handsome as well. And, lucky for Pidge, Lance had been distracted by the amount of attention all of them had been receiving that night. Distracted enough that he hadn’t been by Pidge’s side for over two hours. And she felt free to her newfound flirting skills on the guy, Jauhn, she had met. 

 

Jauhn flirted back and they danced a couple of songs together. Then he accompanied her to the refreshments table where they stood together and talked more about the topics that interest them both. It was going great. Until he asked Pidge to go out for drinks with him after the party.

 

Without warning,Lance popped up between them, pushing Pidge and the guy slightly apart.

 

“Lance! What are you doing!?” Pidge was surprised.

 

“This guy here is asking MY girlfriend out to drinks and you’re asking what I’m doing!?” He hooked his thumb over to indicate the guy she had been talking to.

 

“What!? I’m not your- mpmfffff.” Her denile had been cut off by Lance’s very own mouth kissing her very own mouth. Not something that they did. Ever. She could not cognate what was going on. She stood there for a second, not moving, but he kept kissing her, with no intent to stop from what she could tell. And, truth be told, it felt really good to be kissing her best friend. Really really good. So warm and nice and also maybe a little more than warm? Was it hot in here or was that just her?

 

Somewhere in the back of Pidge’s mind she heard the guy leave with a “guess that’s a no.” And then a few whistles from the crowd. What felt like minutes later, Hunk came over and broken them apart. 

 

“Now, we’re all really happy about this and everything, but you’re making a scene.” Pidge opened her eyes to see everyone had their devices pointed at them and were recording the whole moment.

 

“Happy about what?” She questioned Hunk. 

 

“You and Lance. Finally!” He said with an air of exasperation.

 

Pidge looked at Lance who’s eyes seemed a little dreamy at the moment, she had definitely seen that look on his face before when they had been hanging out. Then she looked back at Hunk.

 

“There’s no ‘me and Lance’.” The confusion was overwhelming her. “What the heck is happening!?’ She pulled at her hair.

 

Lance seemed to come to finally. He draped his arm over Pidge’s shoulders. She pushed it off.

 

“What was that for!? I almost had a date with that guy.” She was not going to tell him she had been planning to decline the offer. 

 

Lance looked at his dropped hand a second, then back to Pidge. A look of hurt crossed his face a moment before he lightly punched her on the arm. 

 

 “Got ya back for beating me at Dungeon Blasters eight times last night.” He made a raspberry at her and walked away, laughing.

 

“Oh for Pete’s Sake!” Hunk rubbed his hands down his face and walked away, shaking his head in frustration.

 

Pidge just stood there, confused. The party was winding down anyway, so she went to her quarters. 

 

She made a list of the things she needed to figure out.

 

  1. Lance kissed her. It felt very nice and safe and all sorts of things she didn’t have proper scientific descriptors for.
  2. Lance didn’t seem to think the kiss was anything special. So maybe it wasn’t? It was attention grabbing though.
  3. Lance called her his girlfriend. She’d have to talk to him about that one. 
  4. Why did she like it when he did?



 

She found herself outside Hunk’s room in the embassy they were staying at.

 

Hunk let her in asking why she was there instead of going to take Lance down for treating her like that. He seemed upset with Lance. Pidge explained that there was no need to feel upset, because she herself wasn’t upset. His actions did raise some questions she needed answered. So she asked Hunk to kiss her.

 

“WHAT!? I don’t think that’s the issue here.” His cheeks were red.

 

“No, I need information. Lance is the only friend I’ve ever been kissed by. I have nothing to compare it to. I did kiss my pillow for a control.” 

 

Hunk laughed at this before agreeing. Pidge had seen him kiss a couple of people before. The ladies seemed really happy afterward, so Pidge deduced her reaction to him would give her the info she needed.

 

Hunk came over to her. “This is really weird Pidge. But if it’s for science, and if it’ll help you to finally figure out things between Lance and you, then I’ll help.” He leaned down.

 

“Wait!” Pidge held up her hand.

 

“I’m going to close my eyes and then you kiss me. I didn’t expect Lance’s kiss, so I need to not expect yours.” She closed her eyes.

 

She waited. And waited. Finally she opened one eye to see what the heck Hunk was doing. He was furiously texting on his phone. “Come on Hunk! I thought you agreed to kiss me?”

 

Hunk put his phone down, “You said it had to be a surprise so I was waiting until you didn’t expect it.”

 

“I wasn’t expecting it- Mfmfpfffmm.” Hunk swooped in and kissed her. Just like Lance did. It was warm. It was nice. But it kept feeling like she was kissing Matt and that was not a feeling she wanted to have at all. She definitely did not want Hunk to keep kissing her. She pushed him back.

 

“Was it as gross for you as it was for me?” Maybe she shouldn’t have called his kiss gross.

 

Hunk laughed, “Yes. Let’s NEVER do that again.” 

 

Pidge coughed, “Well, thanks. I’ve got to be going.”

 

“To Lance’s room? For more experimenting?” Hunk winked.

 

Pidge smacked his arm. “NO! I already know what it’s like to kiss him. Duh.”

 

With that she turned and left.

 

She had a few more names on her list, but Keith was the only other one who agreed to kiss her. 

 

That took a lot longer to explain to him than it should have, but, once it happened, it was very nice and had Pidge not been kissed by Lance previously, she would have enjoyed it a lot more than she did. Keith seemed pretty pleased with it as well. 

 

She thanked him and went back to her room to quantify her findings then go to sleep. 

 

Except, when she turned her computer on, she was bombarded by texts and emails congratulating her and Lance on their relationship. Several people linked her to articles from, not only the gossip news, but the usually accurate universal news networks. Even her mom had sent her many many texts asking her to explain.

 

She marched right to Lance’s room, only to run into him as he was coming out of it.

 

“Ouch!” 

 

“Pidge! Did you see?”

 

“I did”

 

“What are we going to do about it?:

 

“WE!? You kissed me in public. You straighten it out.” She was suddenly furious at Lance, but not really sure why. “You’re the one who said I was your girlfriend when it’s not even true. It was your prank. You fix it.” 

 

She turned and stormed off back down the hallway.  Lance hollered after her.

 

“Fine! I’ll fix it. First thing tomorrow.” And he slammed his door.

 

Pidge shuddered at the anger suddenly in his voice and thought she should go apologize. But too bad, she needed sleep.

 

Sleep didn’t come to her that easily and she tossed and turned all night.

 

The next morning Allura made a point to have breakfast with her, first asking when Lance was going to join them. Pidge let her know he had some stuff to take care of first.

 

Turned out Allura was exceedingly happy that Lance and Pidge were dating. She had thought they made a good couple for some time now. And it would finally put the ‘jilted lover’ rumors to rest that had been plaguing her and Lance since her return. She was so happy, she had Coran arrange a press conference to address all the questions that had arisen over night.

 

Pidge received a text from Lance during her breakfast, asking if she realized what was going down. She replied yes and brought him up to speed with the press conference. He agreed to come down and meet them for breakfast.

 

The next few hours they had to spend together coming up with the hows and whys of them dating. Everyone looking on probably thought they were a close couple, merely enjoying each other’s company.

 

They decided that they would have to fake date for six months, to avoid a whole rebound scandal and to keep the reputation of Voltron team intact. After six months, they would break up publicly. They had not figured out that would go down yet, but they knew Pidge needed to break them up since it was decided Lance asked her out in the first place.

 

Fake dating Lance turned out to be really fun. Nothing changed much about their relationship except they had to hold hands in public and occasionally Lance would kiss her. A few times he’d kissed her when they were hanging out together playing video games or just watching the stars. Pidge had told him he didn’t need to kiss her since they weren’t in public, but Lance suggested they practice every now and then so it seemed natural and Pidge could get used to it. Pidge agreed quicker than she expected to. No harm no foul, right?

 

Six months flew by and their relationship was still the talk of the tabloids. The BiBoBi’s had even made a television drama chronicling their relationship, though no one was supposed to know it was about them and the team. 

 

One day, after a rather heated kissing practice, which Pidge had found harder and harder to recover from, Pidge announced it had been 6 months and they should probably discuss how they were going to break up. This made Lance very mad and a very heated argument followed. It ended when Lance yelled “Fine! Break up with me at the banquet tomorrow! See if I care. This is one big joke to you anyway!” And he stormed out the door.

 

Pidge was fuming, why should Lance be so angry about her following their original plan? 

 

The BiBoBi drama broke through Pidge’s fuming. The two characters, BiBance and BoBidge, were fighting. Suddenly, BoBidge broke up with BiBance because she thought he was cheating on her.  Oh no, this wouldn’t do, Pidge couldn’t break up with Lance tomorrow, everyone would think he was a cheater. But she was also really angry with him after their fight, so she spent the night thinking of ways they could end it without making Lance seem like he was in the wrong.

 

The BiBoBi channel stayed on most of the night, broadcasting their more dramatic shows that late. One show gave her the perfect idea.

 

The next day at the banquet, the whole Voltron team were the guests of honor. They were sat at a head table, spread out in their original formation, Allura to the left of Hunk, Coran to the right of Lance. Lance hadn’t looked at Pidge once. Though she noticed his eyes were puffy and rimmed in red as if he had been crying. It wasn’t like him to not have pristine pre-banquet face care.

 

Pidge’s leg shook in anticipation. This should work out swimmingly, but if it didn’t...she didn’t want to think about that. Her palms were sweating. She knew the best moment would be soon.

 

After the formalities and awards were given, the dance floor was opened up. Pidge put her hand in her pocket to make sure the thing she had bought at the gas station that morning was still in there. Quiznack she loved dresses with pockets.

 

After waiting for what seemed like an eternity, a slow dance finally came on. Lance hadn’t moved from his spot all night, even though everyone else had long gotten up and mingled. He had a sour look upon his face. Pidge approached him cautiously. 

 

“Care for a dance?” She held out his hand.

 

He looked up at her, his eyes glistening. “What? You gonna do it now?” he grabbed her hand, “Fine. I guess. Let’s get this over with.”

 

Hand in hand they walked into the crowd, everyone making room for the ‘couple of the year’. Pidge tried pulling Lance close to her, they had become very good at slow dancing over the last six months. He resisted, holding her at arm's length. 

 

He whispered sharply, “Just do it now, no need to draw things out.” He still had the angry look on his face.

 

Pidge shrugged. Boy would Lance be shocked. Hopefully it would shock him out of whatever bad mood he was in now. He’d probably heard about the plot of the BiBoBi drama featuring them. 

 

Pidge reached into her pocket, grabbing the object resting there. Then she got down on one knee, like she had seen in every single romantic movie ever. People ate this stuff up. 

 

Lance quit moving, staring down at her with a confused look on his face.

 

“What are you doing?” He asked sharply.

 

“Shhhh. Just pay attention.” She smacked his leg.

 

Looking around, she realized enough people had stopped and were now watching what her and Lance were up to.

 

“Lance McClain” She waited for him to look her in the eyes.

 

“I’m tired of dating you. There’s just too much to experience in this world and I don’t want to do it while dating you.” She watched Lance’s face screwed up tight in anger, almost like he was going to cry. He was playing his part well.

 

She continued. “I want more than a date buddy. I want a partner to explore with me, to experience the universe with. I see now you’ve always been that.” With sweaty hands, she grabbed the ring out of her pocket. “Will you quit dating me? And marry me instead?”

 

Lance’s face froze. This was going so well. She’d shocked him, and managed to give him an out for their fake relationship all at once.

 

“Yes.” 

 

Pidge didn’t hear that right. “What!?”

 

“Yes.” He reached for the ring, grabbing it and putting it on his finger. “Yes, Katie ‘Pidge’ Holt. I’ll marry you.” He grabbed something from his pocket as well. He got down on his knees to be eye level with her and held out a velvet box, opening it to reveal a large, cushion cut peridot and citrine ring. “Only if you’ll marry me too.”

 

She didn’t know what to do. Lance had had the same idea as her? It was almost comical. But he’d said yes and now it wouldn’t make sense if she rejected him. So she did what any sane person in a fake dating relationship, who just proposed to their fake boyfriend, who said had yes and proposed back to her, would do. She held out her hand and allowed him to slide the ring onto her finger. It fit perfectly. She stared at it glittering under the lights of the dance floor. 

 

Lance leaned forward and whispered close in her ear. “It reminded me of you. Sunsets and plants.” Pidge shivered. Her heart beat hard against her chest. How she wished in that moment that all this had been real. 

 

He leaned back to look her in the face again. “Well?” He cocked an eyebrow at her.

 

“What?” The beat of her heart was drowning out any other thoughts.

 

“Are you going to say ‘yes’?” 

 

She locked eyes with him. Had his eyes always been so blue? Had he always had such a handsome smile, a little dimple at the corner? Wasn’t this supposed to be their breakup? But none of that mattered in that moment.

 

The word tumbled from her mouth before she could stop it. “Yes” whispered like a promise to her best friend.

 

He beamed at her before pulling her in to seal their deal with a kiss. One of the sweetest, most tender kisses she’d ever had. 

 

The crowd erupted in cheers. Flashes and shutters were going off everywhere. Lance was still embracing her when Hunk came over and lifted both of them off the ground. “I’M SOOOO HAPPY!” 

 

He spun them around. “EVERYONE! My best friends are getting married!!” He sat them back down, only to have the crowd rush forward to give their many congratulations. 

 

Somewhere in the back of Pidge’s mind, she realized that this was not playing out as she had planned. But the moment had been surprisingly magical and she was giddy with emotion. The dancing and revelry went on into the night.

 

Pidge woke up the next morning beside Lance. They had come back to the hotel rooms very early in the morning. Pidge wanted to go to sleep, she would need a well rested head in order to deal with the wrench in their break-up plans that the dual engagement had caused. Lance, however, did not want to go to sleep. So they went back to his room and sat on the couch, watching dumb tv and making fun of the infomericals that came on so late. Lance kept his arm around her the whole time, and occasionally would lean over and kiss her cheek. He must have been heady from the whole thing as well.

 

She was so comfortable and sleepy that she must have dozed off before going back to her room. Now her neck hurt from the awkward way in which she had been sleeping. And her head was pounding. No. Wait. That was the door. The door was pounding.

 

Lance hopped up from the couch, causing Pidge to flop to the side. 

 

“I’m coming! I’m coming! Hold on!” Pidge watched as Lance ran his fingers through his hair and straightened his clothes. He looked shocked when he opened the door, the angle Pidge was sitting at kept her from seeing who it was.

 

“Mijo!” A pair of hands grabbed his face and squished his cheeks.

 

“Mami! What..what are you doing here?” Lance stuttered over his words. 

 

“My boy gets engaged and doesn’t even call me!? Veronica came with a ship as soon as I got ahold of her.” Lance’s mom pulled him into a hug as Lance glared past his mom at, Pidge guessed, Veronica. 

 

“I called you dozens of times and you did not answer! Now tell Mami about it.” His mom turned him around and lead him into his room. All of his family followed. His brothers and sisters-in-law, his sisters and brothers-in-law, his nieces and nephews, maybe a few neighbors, Pidge didn’t know. What she did know was how suddenly everyone froze in place and got extremely quiet.

 

“Pidgieto!” Lance’s mom yelled. Then she smacked him on the back of his head.

 

“You are not engaged even one day and you have your fiance in the hotel room with you? I did not raise you that way!” She lightly smacked him on the back of the head again.

 

“Ow, Mami! It’s not what you think! We didn’t do anything!” Lance looked over at Pidge, imploring her. “Tell Mami we didn’t do anything. Please.”

 

Pidge stood up quickly, finally realizing what Lance’s mom was implying. “NO! Oh no! We fell asleep on the couch. Watching tv. I would..we would..never.” 

 

Lance’s mom looked the two of them up and down. Apparently what she saw satisfied her. She descended on Pidge, her arms out wide. “Pidgielito! Welcome to the family!” She pulled Pidge into a tight hug. 

 

Veronica made eye contact with Pidge. I smirk, not unlike one of Lance’s, formed on her face. She lifted up her phone. “I’m going to tell Matt.”

 

Shocked, Pidge broke from Lance’s mom’s embrace to try and grab Veronica’s phone. But, instead of reaching her goal, she was stopped by Matt’s voice asking “Tell me what?”, followed by him and her parents. 

 

Her mom crossed her arms, “I have spent all morning tracking you down only to find you in Lance’s hotel room, after finding out, THROUGH THE NEWS, that my daughter is now engaged to be married? I’ve been calling you all night.” Pidge took a quick glance at her phone. Yep. Hundreds of calls and texts from a whole lot of people. Oh, this did not go as planned at all.

 

“They assured me they behaved.” Lance’s mom spoke up.

 

Pidge’s mom quickly assessed the situation, coming to the same conclusion Lance’s mom did, apparently. 

 

“My baby! Engaged!” She pulled Pidge into a hug. Sam came up and joined in the hug. Pidge’s mom reached out for Lance. “Come join us.” Lance happily obliged.

 

Soon everyone joined in and Pidge was at the center of a huge group hug, suffocating on the love from everyone around. Sam gave Lance his blessing as stern as he could manage, which wasn’t all that stern at all. Veronica said to Matt, “I guess we’ll have to start calling you ‘Papi’” to which Matt exclaimed “That’s not how Spanish works and you know it!” Then they all laughed and went to breakfast as one big group.

 

Lance grabbed Pidge’s hand and dragged her along with everyone else. She was hesitant because this had already gone too far and they would have to end it, breaking more hearts than her own in the process.

 

She didn’t get the chance to talk to Lance the whole day. 

 

At breakfast it was decided they should get married in Cuba on the beach.

 

At lunch it was decided that all the paladins and Lance’s siblings and Matt should be the attendants.

 

Shopping in the afternoon it was decided that Hunk’s team should cater the wedding, but they would have to do it without Hunk leading them as he was going to be asked to be the Best man.

 

Somewhere along the day Keith, Allura, Shiro, and Coran joined them.

 

At dinner Lance and Pidge fought over who’s best man Hunk should be, until everyone decided that Allura should be the maid of honor, which she was absolutely ecstatic about. 

 

“Oh Pidge, I’m delighted!” The hug Allura gave Pidge almost convinced her to go through with the whole wedding. She didn’t want to let Allura down. And she could think of worse people to spend the rest of her life being hitched to.

 

At bedtime Pidge tried her hardest to get Lance alone so she could discuss how off the rails their fake dating scheme had become, but all the women decided to turn it into a sleep-over in Pidge’s hotel room. She had a lot of fun that evening, but the weight of her deception kept her from being overjoyed.

 

It wasn’t until almost a week later that she was actually able to have an extended talk with Lance. They had been whisked away to missions and sent to several press junkets. They hadn’t been alone once the whole time. And she knew text messages were not going to cut it.

 

Lance had kept up the ruse in amazing fashion, calling her Pidgelito, and wifey-to-be and stuff like that. She supposed if their phones were ever compromised, there wouldn’t be anything to tip anyone off about their arrangement. She texted him.

 

“I miss you too. Can you come over tonight?” There, not suspicious at all.

 

He answered quickly and was at her door at 8:30 on the dot. Pidge glanced down the hallway to make sure no one saw him before pulling him inside.

 

“Come here Pidgey-poo.” Lance tried to pull her into a hug.

 

Pidge swatted his hands away. “Stop that. We have a major crisis on our hands.”

 

“What crisis? Wait! Did the baker say he couldn’t make the cake for the reception?” Lance stopped on his way to her living room.

 

“No! That’s the problem. Everyone thinks we’re getting married, Lance.”

 

Lance stared at her.

 

Clearly something wasn’t sinking in. “I gave you an out, you were supposed to decline my proposal, say you weren’t ready for that level of commitment, and then people wouldn’t think you were the bad guy or that you were cheating on me.” Pidge lowered her head in frustration. “But then you went and proposed back to me!” She looked back up at Lance.

 

He had a confused expression on his face. “But..you accepted my proposal?”

 

“You accepted mine first! And now everyone thinks we’re getting married! My mom has already scheduled our next family portrait so it would include you!” What wasn’t he getting?

 

Something changed in his countenance. Instead of the concern Pidge was hoping to see, a smug look settled on his face. Pidge could have sworn even his eyes twinkled with mischief.

 

“So.” He shrugged.

 

“So...Married. Us. We’re not even in a relationship Lance.”

 

“You’re my best friend, Pidge. That’s some sort of relationship.” He kept smiling at her. Why wasn’t he taking this seriously.

 

Pidge began pacing. “Well, we can’t break it off now, everyone has too much already planned, and we won’t have the money to pay back the deposits for weeks. And we have to figure out who’s going to break up with who again.” Pidge was running her fingers through her hair in frustration, none of the answers coming easy to her. They were in so deep.

 

Lance moved in front of her, grabbing her wrists and pulling them down from her hair before he pulled her into a hug.

 

“Like I said, you’re my best friend. Let’s see how this plays out. We’ll figure something out and know when the time is right.” He pulled back to look her in the face. “And I promise I’ll break up with you when the time is right. Okay?”

 

Pidge looked into his handsome blue eyes, thinking how sincere and trustworthy they were. Besides, she didn’t want to be the one to break off their engagement and cause so many people so much sadness. The idea of making Lance’s mom cry caused her heart to hurt.

 

“Okay. I trust you.”

 

Lance kissed her forehead. “See, it’ll all work out.” He pulled a game out from behind him. “Now let’s play Forbidden SkyWars 21. They have a co-op mode. “

 

It was going to work out. Pidge knew that. But deep inside, she kind of didn’t want the engagement to be broken. But that was for her to think about another day. Today she and Lance had to defeat their new game, together.

 

The right moment never seemed to come. There were times when they would get in an argument over their hypothetical post-marriage living arrangements, or where they would spend their holidays, or how many kids they should have (Lance wanted a lot of kids apparently, but they both decided three was a really good number), or any number of things that a couple would have to work together on throughout their marriage. And the disagreements always happened when they were out and about with some of their friends and family members, doing wedding stuff. 

 

Pidge found herself bracing herself for the break-up, because, really, who could even get married what with all the things that married people had to work through anyway? But, every time, the both of them would come to some sort of really good agreement for whatever hypothetical situation they were arguing about. And the moment would pass and the break-up wouldn’t happen, and Pidge would feel slightly relieved. 

 

The night before their wedding, all the girls threw Pidge a bridal shower, no strippers thank goodness, though much to the disappointment of Nadia and Romelle. What she was about to do didn’t sink in until she opened her first gift of lingerie. They expected her and Lance to be together! Like together together. And, though she always enjoyed their ‘practice’ kissing sessions (much more frequent lately), it sunk in that they were going to be completely and legally married. And acting like married people. She freaked out, surely Lance wasn’t going to leave her at the altar? Maybe they should break up now? He fingers caressed the beautiful sleeping gown, the soft creamy silk flowing through her fingers. Or maybe they could wait until after their parties?

 

As soon as she was back in her room in Lance’s family’s house, she texted Lance.

 

“You’re not going to break-up with me at the altar are you?”

 

“I would never! Don’t worry, it’ll happen when the time is right.”

 

“But we’re getting married tomorrow. I have a dress, Lance. A white dress and flowers and everyone is here to celebrate.”

 

“It’ll be alright. Don’t worry. No one is going to get disappointed. Everyone will be very happy tomorrow, I promise.”

 

“You don’t understand! I have lingerie! Lots of it. And the things I heard tonight. They expect us to sleep in the same bed. Only not sleep!”

 

“Trust me, Pidgie. It’ll all work out. Now tell me more about this lingerie.”

 

“Pervert.”

 

“Darling.”

 

“Good night!”

 

“See you tomorrow. ;-)”

  
  
  


She thought she wouldn’t be able to sleep that night, the worry and latent expectation causing a jumble of knots in her stomach. But Mami, as Lance’s mom told her to call her, brought in an herbal tea, her own recipe, that soothed her frazzled nerves. Pidge’s mom came in and laid with her and sang songs and brushed her hair back from her forehead. She fell into a deep, peaceful sleep after that.

 

The next morning she woke with a start at 11am. She could hear the hustle and bustle downstairs. Preparations were in full swing. 

 

She texted Lance.

 

“It’s now or never. Everyone’s downstairs getting ready.”

 

“Morning sleepy head. Now’s not the time. I’ll let you know when the time is right.”

 

“Lance!”

 

“Trust me. I’ll see you tonight. Besides, it’s bad luck to talk to the bride before the wedding.”

 

“That’s see the bride, you dofus.”

 

“Oh, right. I guess we still have our good luck. See you soon. ;-*”

 

A kissy face! At a time like this? Ugh.

 

Pidge paced back and forth for a bit, trying to figure out Lance’s plan. She finally came to the conclusion that they were just not going to sign the marriage certificate and then go about living their lives as if they never got married? They really did spend a lot of time together already, that didn’t need to change. And Lance hadn’t moved into Pidge’s apartment, like they hypothetically agreed to about two months back. So...this could work. And they could fake divorce a few years down the road and then be free to marry or date whomever they chose. Except Pidge didn’t like thinking about that possibility. She didn’t want to marry or date anyone else. She had been exceedingly happy fake-dating Lance. And their fake engagement had been super fun. And, she supposed, they could keep on kissing each other this way. If they had broken up their fake relationship, then the kissing would have had to stop too. Truely, Lance was a genius. This could work.

 

A knock sounded on the bedroom door.

 

“Time to get ready.” Allura came in with all Lance’s sisters in tow. 

 

“You look so pretty Pidge. Like the most in love person I’ve ever seen.” She clapped her hands together.

 

Veronica gagged, “I can’t believe my brother is causing you to look like that. That face should be saved for someone much more worthy.”

 

With that they ushered Pidge out the door to a whole day of preparing to marry her best friend.

 

\-------

 

Now she stood at the beginning of the aisle, a white strip leading up to the small stage set up for her and Lance to be married at. Her dad took her arm. 

 

“You look lovely, I’m so glad I’m here to see this. I couldn’t have given you over to a better man.”

 

Tears welled in Pidge’s eyes. Her makeup was very waterproof, but she didn’t want to cry real tears at her fake wedding.

 

The music began playing their chosen song and all the audience stood up to face her. She didn’t notice. All she saw through the fog of her veil was Lance in his Garrison dress uniform, smiling at her as if she were his world. How she wished in that moment for this to be real.

 

He dad gave her away and the ceremony started. They had agreed to go with the pre-written vows that one could pick from for ceremonies. Except when it was time to say their vows, the Pastor stated that Lance had written his own.

 

He lifted Pidge’s veil and took her hands. 

 

“Katie, you’re my best friend, my comrade at arms, my conspirator, and my teammate, and though there are others out there who hold those positions in my heart as well, you will always be the only one who holds my love as well. I want you to be my partner forever, my player one. Te Amo, Pidge.” Tears were pouring down his face as he slipped the ring onto her finger. A ring she had no idea he had bought. It definitely wasn’t the silly one they had pulled from a gum machine one night when they had gone to see a movie together.

 

Pidge was held in a trance. Just like that, with one little saying, everything had changed. It dawned on her that maybe this wasn’t a fake wedding after all, that maybe Lance’s proposal was more real than she had believed. That maybe she went along with the whole thing because she was deeply and desperately in love with the man standing before her. Tears began pouring down her face as well.

 

The pastor began the pre-written vows for Pidge to repeat. She reached out her hand and stopped him. Never taking her eyes from Lance’s she said what was in her heart. “Lance, I’ve been waiting and waiting for the other shoe to drop. The right time. The end of it all. Because I was afraid of the real beginning. But I’m not afraid. Not with you by my side. Te Amo, Lance. It’s never going to be the right time, is it?” Lance shook his head no and laughed through his tears. Allura tapped Pidge’s shoulder and handed her a ring. Definitely not the ring they had got for Lance either.  Pidge slipped it on his shaking hand. “Forever.”

 

“Forever.” Lance whispered back.

 

The pastor had them turn to the wedding guests. 

 

“Honored Guests, may I present to you Mr.  Lance Holt-McClain and Mrs. Katie “Pidge” Holt-McClain! You may now kiss the bride.”

 

The crowd clapped and cheered. Lance wasted no time in dipping Pidge over and kissing her with every ounce of love he possessed. She kissed him right back, feeling happy that she had a suitcase full of lingerie.

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I labeled this a crack fic because real people should never marry just because they're worried about disappointing everyone else. Marry with a purpose.


End file.
